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Our Next MMORPG. Here's a hint, the most common line isn't going to be "You Talkin' To Me?"

Michael Corleone: Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in.

Contrary to popular belief among those (like me!) who like to rail against the malaise of massively multiplayer online role-playing games, the most oft-repeated form of mmorpg repetitiveness is not the long Sword and Sorcery list of games that have some form of Elf or Dwarf or Troll to play.

The most common theme can be found in all of the Good Fellas style Mafia-based mmorpgs in which you can play some kind of gangster boss or hitman, or enforcer, or pimp, or drug dealer, or something equally as socially irresponsible. According to one list of the 50 most popular games in the genre, 19 of them are games Tony Soprano might have loved to play before he got whacked. I'm not sure I get it, but I can't argue with the fact that there are so many organized crime games out there. 

Omerta: "Set in the 1930's gangster and mafia world, the game is all about status, money and respect. Players get rank points by doing crimes, stealing cars and busting friends out of jail. You can even run you're own organised crime ring, robbing local banks and holding up cars on quiet roads. As you delve deeper into the dark gangster world, many players find other business opportunities, such as gambling clubs, reselling booze and even drug dealing..."

Mafia Returns: ""I assure you, there has been NO mistake." the man behind you growls into your ear as he presses the cold steel of the .45 deeper into the crown of your skull. "The money, I'm sorry... It was the money!" you cry back in a humiliating attempt at saving your own life. Several hours later, you are found by police with urine-soaked pants and a 50 dollar bill stuffed firmly into the back of your throat. You didn't live..."

MafiaMatrix: "This is a game about power and corruption, with the ultimate goal of becoming the most powerful player in the game! This could be from rising through the ranks of the Mafia to Godfather, or perhaps as a Judge, Commissioner of Police or any number of careers. Make friends, team up and plan your way ahead. You choose your fate and decide your own future." And I just love this part: "Players are friendly and helpful so don't be afraid to ask."

Vascogames.com offers up this trio of dark entertainment -- Mafia Family: "Steal yourself a nice shiny new Cadillac, start shipping some bootleg booze and get some buddies together to rob the local bank... a life of organized crime can be a rewarding career!"; Agent's Target: "Become a undercover agent in the world of the Gangsters and mobsters."; and Russian Maffia: "Russian Maffia is an online Mafia game like no other. You begin as an 'Starter' and progress through the ranks to the very top, (that's if the other gangsters, thugs and smug-a-lugs don't ice you first)."

Hitman's Life: "Live the life of hit man doing hit jobs for your employers until you end up with your own assassin's company."

Mafia-Family: "Get into the world of mafia. Kill, steal and improve your ranks by robing banks, dealing drugs and lots more! Join existing families or make your own. Gather the crew and fight your way to the top!"

Pimp Empires: "As you walk along the waterfront after finishing your shift at the local burger place feeling like your life is going nowhere...You notice a tall gentleman dressed in a long coat wearing a Stetson type hat, smoking a pipe. As you approach he turns and looks you up and down as if to start grooming. While you seem to walk slower it may just be your discerning feeling something is different. "No money uhh" he says very calmly almost like he knew me. "What's your name?" Thinking hes from the Mob, or local Mafia. "Who are you?" you ask reluctantly. "That's not important, your the one with no money, no future, I've been blessed with great life of money and luxury. I cannot continue" he sits down leans one hand on his black and gold cain. "My car is waiting I want to leave knowing someday I will be replaced, here is my van keys it has few guns, drugs and some numbers of girls to get started, my time is short" he hands you piece of paper while you both start to walk towards his waiting black car. His bodyguards opens the car door "Take care, the road is hard, be ruthless and kind, make friends enemies will come, but above all know when which to be" the door closes and they drive off leaving you more confused than ever. You open the piece paper excluding the garage lock-up number it says 'Good luck, you have been chosen,' signed PE Crime Lord." (All the bad typos and grammar is, um, the fault of the pimp.)

The Mafia Underground: "The Mafia Underground is a free mafia based game in which you may choose to be part of a gang or to go it alone. Fight for supremacy of a city, or even a country and make your mark on the underground world of the mafia."

Trenton Made: "There are many prestigious roles in the world of organized crime. Be boss of a family and rule with absolute power. Amass a fortune in diamonds or make millions on the black market. It’s yours for the taking when you are Trenton Made!"

Extreme Mob Wars: "You want to be a real Mobster godfather like John Gotti, Al Capone and have all the little mobsters at your feet? You want to have fun? You want to make money? Then you are at the right place!"

There are several more, but you probably get the drift by now.

I'm seriously wondering who enjoys games like this. The games I've played have never been my first topic of conversation at parties among non-gamers, but I'd have to serious doubts about whether I'd mention that I spend part of my nights playing a ruthless pimp. And for parents? Wow, at least when Julian wakes up in the middle of the night and comes to see me, he won't be seeing anything like this on my computer screen.

So, our search goes on. Ruled out so far: Elves, trolls, dwarves, mafia bosses, hitmen and hit women, and, yes, pimps.

Live from Ocean Park

Hmm, you know that is really not bad for a blog sub title. And it would be a bit more honest as I can no longer even begin to claim that I maintain a legitimate gaming and gadget review blog anymore. Two reasons: you need to have time to game, and you need to have time to write about your gaming in the blog.

But my life has undergone permanent change since I adopted my eight year old brother. By the time I am done helping him with his homework, putting him to bed, reading him to sleep and then making his lunch for the next day, there is usually time for just one of three things: tearing off my fiancee's clothes when he isn't off in some remote place doing research (*deep red blush* --now THERE is a great name for a nail polish or lipstick), playing a game, or writing about playing a game on this blog.

As you note that my last blog entry was in early August, you can kinda see which category is coming in last across the finish line.

Confession time.

My blog subscrription had actually EXPIRED when I went online this morning. Wow...

New hobby, too. Dress design on my computer. Still a fricking geek at heart; seems like that part of me will never change. It will just find new ways to express itself.

On those nights when I'm so stressed about my abilities as a mom, killing virtual villains in a game seems less satisfying than it has been in the past.

Feels better to create something real instead on those nights. Feels much more fun to create something very goddam sexy, too. Ok, I have only finished one so far, and it is so 'blush me to deep red' sexy that I'm only going to show you the lowest bottom part of it.

I don't do any of the actual sewing. Horrible at that. I just design them, but I found this really cool young seamstress on Main Street who nearly died when I showed it to her and she has already made one, shown here, for me to model.

The top half is going to have to undergo some PG rated modifications for it to be anything than other than a Welcome Home Roy outfit.

Well, it's sexy to ME, anyway. I wanted to find a way to show off my legs while still leaving something to the imagination. So the dress stops slightly above one knee and slightly below the other knee, angled. This is about as far as I will ever go in public and even then only if Roy is there.

Above the knee is a thick kind of fringe that moves and shows, if you are looking at the right moment and if I am moving, well....more. The test for Roy was to see how long I got to wear it.

Mmm. Good test results so far.

But, back to more truly geeky things.

Richard Garriott's Tabula Rasa is unfortunately looking very much like a  "Level 50 And Out" MMORPG. We've had a blast playing it, but it is NEVER a good sign when the top level gaming area, Howling Maw, is a ghost town. Virtually empty everytime we go there. Roy's top Tabula Rasa toon, the Spy Alex Stallworth (new Clan: Marine Force Recon), is 1/10th of the way through level 49. One serious day of grinding. Heck, a few hours of grinding, and he is there.

We have been having a blast with the Commando we named after Julian, but there is no way we're playing long enough to get him to 50, too, unless there is a serious population influx...of happier people...immediately.

One great thing about the Tabula Rasa game: it attracted a lot of adults. One bad thing: it attracted a lot of adults who like to gripe, about their lives, in game, during what looks to be a very goddam bad economic recession. We have found ourself turning off general chat more and more. Sorry, when we game, it's the Real Life that we seek to avoid.

City of Heroes and City of Villains, on the other hand, continues to be the ONLY MMORPG that keeps changing and growing enough to hold my interest. Also among the best things about it: it's just fun to PLAY. Haven't gotten much closer at all to my seventh level 50 in the game, but I'm just having a blast playing with friends I have known on that game since as early as 2005.

World of Warcraft would have been so level 50 and out, but they keep cheating by raising the level. I've realized that it is the only way it holds its nearly addicted player population. Level cap rise to 60. Level cap rise to 70. Level cap rise to 80. Well, we are joining the Level 70 And Out contingent.

My first, The Matrix Online, was definitely Level 50 and Out.

So, some night soon, it will be back to looking for The Next MMORPG. The fun thing about that is that there are a LOT of new possibilities. Stay Tuned, and I'll do my best to be back in less than a month...