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Labor: 13 hours. (I don't even want to do anything that feels GOOD for 13 hours...)
She's a GIRL (!!! God does have a sense of proportion. Now there will be at least two people in the house who can appreciate clean bathrooms.)
Born at 7 a.m. (Great, ANOTHER morning person in the house...sigh)
Eyes: green, and my hair looked like this when I was born, so she might even be a redhead (!!!)
Omg...I actually did it. I wish I could describe it, but I can't. I've given life to my daughter. I hold her close to me as she sucks down...well breakfast this time, I guess... My milk from her bottle. And I'm just in awe.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Happens EVERYDAY. But not to me. I've never done anything like this before. Even Afghanistan feels like nothing compared to this.
I have a daughter (say it three times, Veronica, and it feels more real.)
The guys...Desmond, Roy and Julian...are being weird. So attentive and protective and making me feel like I'm some goddess.
I'm just a mom, and a wife, and a sort of step daughter. Just me, guys. I'm just me.
Oh yeah, the name...
She was all set to be Victoria Dunbar, but as my labor toiled on, endlessly, it seemed, Roy brought me his ipod to listen to. Just as she was finally ready to see the world, this was playing. Couldn't resist it.
Paradise Dunbar. Say hello to Paradise everyone.
None of us are getting much sleep since she arrived. In another couple of weeks, people can come visit. Supposed to wait to let her bond with us. Better for her little immune system, too. I will try to get online sometime soon as well. Probably at very odd hours to start.
Want to know something funny? Everything looks different now. My morning walks, the job waiting for me at the end of maternity leave, my life, my marriage, my family...it's like I'm seeing them all from a completely new perspective, knowing how fragile and precious everything is.
I noticed something else today, after my son Julian told me he has been reading back over the old entries in my blog. When I wanted to find my mother's diary, I had to search for it all over the house, in the storage locker, finally finding it in the garage. I might have missed it altogether and not had any of her words to guide me. I might never have known about Desmond being Julian's dad. I might have never found him and brought him home.
But I, in this totally digital world, have written an amazing TWO HUNDRED AND SIX blog entries here, dating all the way back to 2005. My gosh, I've been writing in this thing for almost seven years. Hard to believe...
If for no other reason, I'm going to keep it going, look back over it all, clean up all the broken links and such, so that my children will have another way of knowing me--if anything should ever happen to me--and this one will be very easy to find and easy to access, no matter where they are.
Paradise just woke up and I promised Jules he could try to feed her this time. He's going to be such a super big brother. Gotta go.
Bye for now.